Author: Miracles Massage

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3 Mindful Tips for Words of Affirmation Lovers

When do you feel most loved by your significant other? Can you pinpoint specific times, instances, or scenes where love seems to surround you? In this blog series, we are exploring how different people respond to and feel love. Knowing which of the 5 Love Languages your partner prefers ensures that you communicate your feelings in ways that speak loudest and most effectively to your special someone.

Even as small children, we develop our preferences of how we experience love. A child shouting from the playground, “Mommy, watch me!” or “Watch what I can do, Daddy!” is likely going to be the adult who values words of affirmation from their spouse. They feel secure and loved when someone verbally compliments and praises their efforts. They thrive on encouraging words when they are feeling unsteady. It gives them renewed strength when someone they love and admire affirms their abilities.

Here are three tips on how to show your love and adoration for your words of affirmation lover.

Say it Loud, Say it Proud
1. People whose primary love language is words of affirmation treasure the verbalization of feelings for not only them but the world to hear. They find comfort in frequent positive reinforcement.  “I love you”, “I am proud of you”, “you are doing a great job” speaks directly to their heart. Tell them often how much they mean to you and how special they are in all areas of their life.

2. Take Pen to Paper (or Fingers to Screens)
Unexpected love notes in the form of text messages, post-it notes on lunches, or cards in the mail are greatly appreciated. It doesn’t have to be much, but a simple acknowledgment of love and adoration goes a long way. Whether you write them handwritten notes or send an email from work, just remind them of how incredible you think they are as often as you can.

3. Be Mindful in Your Speech
If your partner prefers you to communicate your love for them through words of affirmation, it is important to be mindful of how you speak to them. For example, non-constructive criticism can be confusing, and undue criticism can be damaging to not only your relationship but also to the person. Your S.O. appreciates gentle tones to show respect and compassion. Emotionally harsh words spoken in loud tones can cause them to feel inadequate and unloved. Be thoughtful in how you speak to them.

It is important to mindfully think about your partner. You know them best. Look for their areas of insecurity and find ways to positively reinforce them. Find verbal and written ways to lift them up not just in times of stress or sadness, but always.

For more suggestions on how to mindfully affirm a Words of Affirmation lover, contact us!

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How to Show Love to Someone Who Prefers Physical Touch

As we continue to explore Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages, we come to the people who prefer physical touch as their primary way to experience love. This doesn’t mean just sexual contact, physical intimacy goes beyond that expression of love.

 

People who prefer physical touch as their primary love language feel most loved when their S.O. holds their hand, wraps them in a warm embrace after a long day apart, or guides them through a room with a gently placed hand on the small of their back. Expressions of love and intimacy are felt when partners sit closely on the couch, share a kiss, playfully squeeze, and cuddle.

It seems fairly straightforward, right? So how do you take it a step further to avoid the routine and mundane peck on the cheek? It helps to be mindful of your S.O.’s desire for physical intimacy. As with any display of affection, what matters most is that it comes from the heart.

Giving your partner a massage at home is an incredible way to show how much you love and care about them. The effects of massage are cumulative. While going to a therapist for an occasional massage has its benefits, routine massages have incredible benefits on our bodies, minds, and spirits. For example, physical touch lowers anxiety and increases oxygen saturation. If your partner cannot go to a therapist for a routine massage, give them one at home, as best you can.

Massage can help relieve the tension in your muscles after you’ve been sitting in front of a computer screen all day, shoveling snow, or tossing out junk from a spring cleaning project. Massage as regular maintenance helps muscles to stay limber and aids in avoiding spasms and sprains.

If your S.O. most prefers physical touch, you will score big points by rubbing their shoulders after a tough day at work, giving them a foot massage, or using aromatherapy to massage their stress away.  

Did you know that hands on the body have a calming effect on the nerves? It does. Try adding the stress relief blend below into your partner’s massage for added benefits.

Stress Relief Blend
4 drops Clary Sage Oil
3 drops Sandalwood Oil
3 drops Lavender Oil
5 ounces base oil

Mix all of the ingredients together and apply to skin gently.

For more suggestions on ways to show your love through physical touch, or to give a gift of massage, contact us!

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4 Helpful Hints to Winning Over Your Quality Time Lover

It should not come as a surprise that relationships flourish when the needs of both partners are met equally. A problem arises when couples attempt to meet their significant others in the middle but fall short of their mark because well-intentioned efforts go unnoticed. If you and your partner have not taken Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages quiz, you may think you are showing your love for you S.O. in all the rights ways only to find they are left unfulfilled because your attempts, while appreciated, aren’t saying “I love you” in juuust the right way.

For someone who prefers love to be communicated through Quality Time, snagging their favorite gum at the checkout line or taking out the trash isn’t a direct route to their heartstrings. What is, you ask? Giving them your undivided attention is what they need most to feel loved and secure in your relationship. Here are a couple of suggestions to make sure your time and efforts are on the right track.

Four Helpful Hints to Winning Over Your Quality Time Lover

1. Hold their eyes while you are talking.
I’m not talking about the cartoons when goofy hearts bubble up from the characters’ fluttering eyes. Quality Time lovers appreciate when you keep eye contact with them. It shows you are paying attention.

2. Resist the urge to interrupt them when they are speaking.
Often we do not realize that when we interrupt someone mid-sentence the other person may perceive it as us saying, “my thoughts are more important than yours”. Ouch.

3. Ask thoughtful questions.
If your partner is not feeling well, ask about their physical and emotional pain. Maybe they are missing an important meeting or a long-anticipated party because of an illness. As terrible as they physically feel, they may also be a little blue. Give them the opportunity to talk it out.

4. Make your time together count.
Your quality time lover is not looking for you to spend gobs of time together out of obligation or simple proximity, they want your time together to be intentional and meaningful. Schedule regular date nights. If going out to try a new restaurant every week isn’t in the cards, plan to sip wine or whiskey by a cozy fire to talk about your day instead.

The good news about being partnered up with a quality time person is that all they really want is you. They want your focused attention to talk about things that matter to the two of you. They value snuggling under a blanket watching a favorite movie or playing board games, or mapping out a garden, or going on a hike. They want a distraction-free time to share your lives together.

As you are checking in with your partner on their physical, mental, and emotional well being, it is a good idea to take your own self-assessment. Your significant other is meant to be your safe place where you can let your guard down. As the two of you are thoughtfully engaged in conversation, make it a point to intentionally listen to your own body to see what you may need. It is incredibly hard to pour out love for others when your own wellspring is neglected. Remember to care for yourself and nourish your needs or ask your S.O. to help you.

For more ideas on how to win over your quality time lover, contact us!

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How to Mindfully Show Your Love to Someone Who Prefers Acts of Service

When we are in love, we want our significant other to know how much they mean to us, right? We want to shower them with our affection and ensure they feel loved by us. Receiving this communication can be tricky if we speak different love languages. If a person does not know their significant others’ love language, they are more likely to show their adoration in ways that they, personally, would prefer, which may not be the same as their loved one. In these cases,  best intentions may result in ambivalence, which causes frustration and resentment.  

For example, a husband who falls into the Acts of Service bucket of The 5 Love Languages is likely going to show his love by trying to make his wife’s life easier, in his mind. He will show he loves her by washing her car, helping with tasks he thinks are difficult for her, or filling up her gas tank on a bitter winter’s day. His goal is to ease her burden when he can. While these are wonderful things, if she is someone who prefers Words of Affirmation, all of his efforts won’t mean as much as him saying, “I’m really proud of you.”

So what are we to do? First, learn which of the 5 Love Languages your partner prefers. Next, learn how to mindfully and effectively show your love in ways they will best receive them.

Here are three suggestions for showing your love to an Acts of Service person.

1. Look for Opportunities of Service
This may require a little extra thought on your end. Be mindful in your displays of affection because your reasoning for doing the service is just as important as the act itself. Think through ways that you can show your love and adoration through easy tasks. If your partner can’t seem to get out of bed early enough to make a hot breakfast before work, hand them a nutritious breakfast burrito on their way out the door. If navigating the parking garage and shuttle at the airport is taxing for them, offer to drive so they don’t have to deal with that stress. If they keep forgetting to schedule “me time” for themselves, set up a massage appointment for them. You can show your partner how much you love them by anticipating their needs and finding simple ways to make things a little easier for them.


2. Lighten Their Load
No one likes chores and we all appreciate a helping hand once in a while, however, Acts of Service people feel most loved when their special someone takes the time to mindfully consider ways to lessen their daily burdens. Think about what chores they dread doing and surprise them by completing one. Is the hall closet in total disarray? Help your partner by organizing it. If they need help running children from one practice field to the next, offer to take a shift. If cleaning the bathroom feels like the bane of their existence, take a turn. You’ll be amazed at how loved Acts of Service people feel when you mindfully consider their feelings. 

3. Be Present When Doing a Daily Routine
When couples do not share a love language, it can sometimes be frustrating thinking up new ways to help them, or show love in a way that does not feel natural to oneself. It is important to be mindful of why you are doing these tasks. Remembering to stay present as you complete a chore, a favor, or an assignment, will help to ensure you are doing so cheerfully. Your significant other does not want you to do something out of obligation, but rather, they want it to be because you made a special effort to intentionally serve them and their needs.       

If you need help mindfully considering ways to help serve your Acts of Service partner, contact us for more suggestions!

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How the 5 Love Languages Will Benefit You

Relationships are a big part of our lives. They have helped to mold and shape us into our person, over the years, influencing our preferences. We take little nuggets from the people who come in and out of our lives, storing them in our memories. For some, we cherish the lessons we have learned and mimic their behavior, approach, or language. In contrast, there are other people for whom we intentionally do the opposite of what we have witnessed or experienced of them. What we learn, along the way, helps to determine our preferences in life.

Whether we’re talking about Myers-Briggs, or another personality inventory, knowing someone’s individual preference gives us an insight into how we can best communicate with them. If you have been in the working world for any length of time, management has likely asked you to complete some kind of personality profile in hopes of figuring out how colleagues, managers, and supervisors can best work together to create a cohesive and productive environment. They want to know if you are a planner, work best under pressure, navigate the world as an extrovert or an introvert. Knowing the answers to these questions will make project management easier and more fruitful. How we approach expressions of love is very similar.

Through his sessions as a counselor, Gary Chapman determined that, often, a chief problem in relationships was that partners were inefficiently communicating their love to one another. One did not “feel” the love from the other because they were misreading their partner’s displays of affection. Based on his observations, he created five buckets that the majority of people fall into when it comes to their preference for receiving expressions of love. He calls them The 5 Love Languages. Learning to decode your partner’s love language may be a game changer in your relationship. Chapman says that couples do not always share the same love language preferences and therefore attempts to show affection fall flat.   

For a brief snapshot, The 5 Love Languages can be viewed like this:

1. Acts of Service – The act of doing something, like a favor or chore, is cherished.
2. Quality Time – Undivided attention and time spent one-on-one are most valued.
3. Physical Touch– Feeling a warm embrace, a pat on the back or another safe touch is most desired.
4. Words of Affirmation– Saying “I love you”, “I’m proud of you”, “You’re doing an incredible job” is most appreciated.
5. Receiving Gifts – Not to be confused with materialism, but little tokens of thoughtful gifts signify love and affection.

Are you intrigued? I hope so. I am so excited to share with you that, together, we will be exploring each of the five love languages in my coming blogs. I will offer you tips and suggestions for each category. To get ready, you have homework!

The Challenge: If you are not quite sure which love language you most prefer, take Dr. Chapman’s quiz to gain a better perspective. Invite your significant other, your children, or the other important people in your life to do it, as well, so you can show your love in the way that they most prefer.

For more information on understanding the five love languages and how they relate to loving yourself, contact us, today!

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Why Massage is Great for Your Heart

Listen up, folks. It’s time to talk about something very serious. Cardiovascular disease is the leading killer of both men and women in the United States. It is responsible for about 1 of every 3 deaths among Americans. As a nation, we celebrate Heart Month in February, but it is important to pay attention to signs and symptoms of heart disease throughout the year.  Our hearts are the hub of the cardiovascular system. It’s essential to keep this muscle healthy because it keeps you alive! Ladies, it is particularly important for you to pay close attention to your body because your symptoms likely don’t look the same as men’s.

It’s no secret that massage is a holistic approach to natural healing and restoring one’s body. The physical act of laying hands on a body and gently massaging the muscles will release endorphins (the feel goods) and reduce the production of cortisol (stress hormone). As this happens, your body naturally allows for more efficient blood circulation throughout your body. This is good news because the blood pumping through your heart and arteries carries essential nutrients and oxygen to the rest of your body.

Massage is known to have a calming effect on our nervous system. When the blood in your body is flowing efficiently, you are more likely to maintain a low blood pressure reading, meaning the rate in which your heart pumps is slower. Lower blood pressure decreases your risk for heart disease.

We all know the ingredients to a healthy lifestyle include a proper diet, regular exercise, and allowing time for physical and mental rest. Massage is another form of self-care that will help to connect your heart with the rest of your body. Physically, a message will do wonders for your body. But don’t forget the cognitive relief it provides as well. It promotes feelings of relaxation, peace, and well being. Additionally, it can alleviate feelings of stress, anxiety, and depression which are major players in the battle with heart disease.

It is also important to note that the many benefits of massage, like regular exercise and a healthy diet, see the best results when applied in a consistent regimen. One massage every year is not going to help ease your heart health. Many people have shared with me that they feel guilty taking the time to get a massage because it feels like a luxury and it isn’t a necessity. Massage, with all of its wonderful benefits, isn’t a luxury. It’s an act of self-love. Remember, by staying healthy, you are ensuring you are around and operating at the top of your game for all of those who depend on you.

When examining your health plan, if you find therapeutic massage may be a holistic component to your self-care strategy, contact us.     

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Do Your Injuries Make You Feel Like It’s Groundhog’s Day?

They say, time heals all wounds. When it comes to injuries, our clocks seem to move at a snail’s pace. Have you noticed when everything is working properly in your body you have a tendency to ignore those areas? It isn’t until we twist an ankle, jam a finger, or bang a knee that we think about specific body parts during our busy day. Then, we can’t seem to think about anything else, if the pain is great enough.

There are two types of injuries: acute and overuse. Acute is generally easy to identify. Overuse, on the other hand, may be a bit harder to diagnose. It’s the one that makes us crazy wondering why we are not healing as quickly as we thought. Unfortunately, in these cases, people can injure themselves little by little every day and not realize it. Whether you are a weekend warrior who keeps aggravating that old basketball injury or you are a sedentary office employee with a poor ergonomic workstation, you may be in need of a solution to get your muscles, tendons, or ligaments back on a healthy track.  

Here are three benefits of a deep tissue massage, which will help you to stop feeling like you are Groundhog-Daying yourself with repeat injuries.

#1 It Alleviates Muscle Tension
A deep tissue massage is designed to push through several layers of muscle to remove scar tissue. Like other types of massage, deep tissue massage has a specific goal. When used as part of the therapeutic program, a therapist will target specific areas of the body, which have been injured or strained, to help calm the nervous system.

#2 It Quickens Recovery Time
Massage of any kind has wonderful benefits to the cardiovascular system. A skilled therapist will carefully work the muscles (without causing further damage) to not only heal sprains or strains, but to also aid the body’s natural ability to repair itself. The increase of blood flow will rid the body of toxins, reduce sore muscles, reduce muscle fatigue, and prevent further injury.

#3 It Expands Range of Motion
Deep tissue massages also have the benefit of helping to release the stiffness that builds up in joints. With the promotion of blood flow, muscles will elongate, increasing flexibility and strengthening endurance.

If you are not sure why your injuries are not healing, it is important to seek medical advice from your provider.

To learn more about how a deep tissue massage may be right for you, contact us!

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3 Sensual Essential Oils for Makin’ Whoopee this Valentine’s Day

Have you noticed that people either love Valentine’s Day or they hate it? There is an awful lot of hype, particularly in new relationships, about flowers, chocolates, dinner reservations, expensive gifts, and grand gestures. It can be a fun and magical day for lovebirds.

Maybe you aren’t into the big, extravagant celebration, but would like to do something a little more memorable than your average Wednesday night. Let’s face it, if you have been in a committed relationship for any length of time, your expectation of something as gloriously romantic as one of Ed Sheeran’s Perfect songs wanes. Notice, the word ‘wanes’. That doesn’t mean you can’t write your own magical night with the right ingredients.

Here are three sensual essential oils for Makin’ Whoopee this Valentine’s Day, along with suggestions on how to use them.

Ylang, Ylang Oil
Ylang, ylang has a light floral aroma that is calming and helps the body to relax. This essential oil is wonderful for helping to relieve feelings of nervousness and anxiety, which proves helpful when one worries about the endless chocolatey treats that have been consumed since Thanksgiving. Ylang, Ylang is known to be an aphrodisiac, as well as being associated with feelings of joy and playfulness. Also helpful for recreational activities.  

Neroli Oil
What is particularly interesting about Neroli Oil is that it helps promote feelings of arousal especially for those who have been experiencing a loss of sexual desire. It’s gentle aroma releases tension and is a mood enhancer.  

Rose Oil
Rose oil is the most feminine of our essential oils. It is said to release feelings of love, compassion, and devotion. When you think of valentine’s day, the image of red roses is sure to pop into your mind, along with Cupid. When he pulled back that arrow to hit his target, his aim was to release the body’s chemicals, boosting the libido. Take a cue from him.

Your Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be another boring Wednesday night. Spice it up by experimenting with the flirtatious influence of aromatherapy. Find an oil or a blend that is pleasing to your partner. Add it to a diffuser or drop it into a warm bath. Make your own spray bottles and spritz your sheets.

To create your own intimate massage session, use essential oils to trigger your limbic system through your sense of smell. Add your favorite essential oil or blend to a base oil and take turns gently massaging each other. peaceful ambiance by lighting candles and creating a playlist you both with enjoy.

For more suggestions on which essential oils to use for a romantic night, contact us.

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Massage Therapy vs. Massage Parlors: How to Stay Safe

When setting out to write this post, I didn’t find a lot of information on the topic I’d like to share. I saw several articles and videos suggesting ways for a therapist to stay protected from clients (particularly at out-call locations), but not many on how a client can protect themselves. I suspect that is largely due to fear. Fear that potential clients will no longer seek peace, serenity, and refuge in massage, but rather by exposing this topic, they will replace those feelings with doubt and fear of foul play.

Friends, when I took on this blog, I told you I was excited to share my thoughts and insights on massage, essential oils, and other healthful living tips to help you live out your best life. Staying safe during a massage is an area that needs a voice rather than silence.

Massage therapy is a practiced skill learned through formal education and a reputable therapist is instated by a licensing board. Massage parlors offer different services, often illegally, including sex acts by people who are not properly trained.

Whether you are looking for a local massage therapist or considering a massage while on vacation, when considering a massage it is important to know who it putting their hands on you before you accept a massage from them. Here are a couple of suggestions before you hop on the massage table.

1. Do Your Homework
When in doubt, do a little research on the establishment and person who will be performing your massage. Make sure it is a reputable place by looking at their website, reading reviews and testimonials, and asking others who they recommend. Also, look for a displayed license that acknowledges their credibility.

2. Know the Nudity Policy
Many reputable places will clearly define their guidelines on nudity. For example, this is mine:
The most effective massage is done on a completely naked subject so that all affected muscle areas can be worked on. Please do not worry; even if you are shy, you will be modestly covered by an oversized sheet at all times, with only the part of the body being massaged being exposed. If you still feel uncomfortable, you may leave your underwear on, but please be aware that will result in certain muscle areas remaining unmassaged.

At the end of the day, your massage therapist wants you to have the best experience possible. In order to do that, you must be comfortable and know that you are in a safe environment.

Finally, I leave you with one last thought and there is no exception here. If you are uncomfortable in any way, by their physical touch or something they said to you, speak up! If the person performing the massage is applying too much pressure or hurting you in any way tell them. There are clear lines for a therapist that should not be crossed.

Massage is a wonderful ingredient for maintaining a healthful, balanced life. Benefits are linked to controlling or fighting chronic health issues like anxiety, depression, cancer, and physical pain. It is the secret weapon your body needs whether it is meant to relax you through an aromatherapy massage, rid your body of toxins through a cupping massage, or work tense muscles through a deep tissue massage. Find someone you can trust and allow them to help you experience a healthy massage.

If you have more questions about how to identify a credible massage therapist or how to stay safe during a massage, please contact us for help.

 

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3 Reasons You Must Try Roman Chamomile

Roman Chamomile is an incredible essential oil with a variety of benefits. It has been used for medicinal purposes for centuries, helping to improve one’s outlook, relieving digestive problems and treating skin conditions. If you haven’t tried it yet, here are three reasons you need to try Roman Chamomile ASAP.

1. Experience the Therapeutic Calming Effect
Roman Chamomile is known for its power to calm not only skin irritations but also the mind and the body. It helps to reduce the feelings of annoyance, discouragement, depression, and hopelessness for starters. Parents also love dropping a little in a diffuser as their babies rest for the night because it gently and safely promotes relaxation.

2. Raise Your Mental Clarity
It’s said that Roman Chamomile was used to help Roman soldiers mentally prepare for battle, giving them courage. Like the ancient Romans, people use this essential oil to propel them forward. It is widely used to help aid in your feelings of purpose while boosting your energy.

3. Overcome the Winter Blues
The winter months can bring with them a bit of gloom. We often can’t open our windows to smell the freshly cut grass or the glorious aroma of spring flowers. Frankly, in the mid-Atlantic, the winter blues can set in and make for a lousy day. If you find yourself feeling down, I encourage you to try Roman Chamomile because it’s uplifting properties are known to help you focus on what is meaningful in your life while replacing feelings of gloom with a sense of safety, happiness, and fulfillment.

To learn more about the uses of Roman Chamomile, contact us today!