Tag: five love languages

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What is The Most Misunderstood Love Language?

Often the most misunderstood love language in Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages is receiving gifts. Make no mistake, friends, those who prefer receiving gifts as a way to experience love should not be confused with people who are materialistic. Quite the opposite, actually. Let’s explore, together, why.

Unlike materialistic people, those who prefer to receive gifts as an expression of love are less interested in the gift itself, than they are the thought behind the gift. It doesn’t matter if the gift is wildly expensive or doesn’t cost a penny, what matters is that it was given to the person with them specifically in mind. They are just as concerned with the WHY of your gift as the actual gift. It shows that you are paying attention to their needs and desires. You could say, “I love you” all day long, but it won’t mean as much as when you give them a physical reminder that they are your number one.  

The gifts you give to your S.O. will be most appreciated if they show that you are listening to your partner. For example, if your special someone tells you they dropped and shattered their favorite coffee mug getting out of the car in the office parking lot, surprise them with new one when they arrive home from work. If your partner has a recurring injury or is in desperate need of relaxation, schedule a massage for them. Amaze them with the benefits of cupping massage! A gift certificate for one of these massages is sure to score you big points!

People who prefer receiving gifts want a tangible reminder that they are on your mind. They feel loved and cherished when you give them a physical symbol of your love and devotion.  

Things to remember for people who prefer receiving gifts as their love language:

1. Gifts do not need to be a financial investment; instead, they are an emotional one.
2. Thoughtful gifts should be tailored to your S.O.’s personality to show how well you know them and want them to be happy.

For more suggestions on how to shower your S.O. with gifts of love, contact us. Don’t forget, our wellness store has lots of goodies they will appreciate too!

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How the 5 Love Languages Will Benefit You

Relationships are a big part of our lives. They have helped to mold and shape us into our person, over the years, influencing our preferences. We take little nuggets from the people who come in and out of our lives, storing them in our memories. For some, we cherish the lessons we have learned and mimic their behavior, approach, or language. In contrast, there are other people for whom we intentionally do the opposite of what we have witnessed or experienced of them. What we learn, along the way, helps to determine our preferences in life.

Whether we’re talking about Myers-Briggs, or another personality inventory, knowing someone’s individual preference gives us an insight into how we can best communicate with them. If you have been in the working world for any length of time, management has likely asked you to complete some kind of personality profile in hopes of figuring out how colleagues, managers, and supervisors can best work together to create a cohesive and productive environment. They want to know if you are a planner, work best under pressure, navigate the world as an extrovert or an introvert. Knowing the answers to these questions will make project management easier and more fruitful. How we approach expressions of love is very similar.

Through his sessions as a counselor, Gary Chapman determined that, often, a chief problem in relationships was that partners were inefficiently communicating their love to one another. One did not “feel” the love from the other because they were misreading their partner’s displays of affection. Based on his observations, he created five buckets that the majority of people fall into when it comes to their preference for receiving expressions of love. He calls them The 5 Love Languages. Learning to decode your partner’s love language may be a game changer in your relationship. Chapman says that couples do not always share the same love language preferences and therefore attempts to show affection fall flat.   

For a brief snapshot, The 5 Love Languages can be viewed like this:

1. Acts of Service – The act of doing something, like a favor or chore, is cherished.
2. Quality Time – Undivided attention and time spent one-on-one are most valued.
3. Physical Touch– Feeling a warm embrace, a pat on the back or another safe touch is most desired.
4. Words of Affirmation– Saying “I love you”, “I’m proud of you”, “You’re doing an incredible job” is most appreciated.
5. Receiving Gifts – Not to be confused with materialism, but little tokens of thoughtful gifts signify love and affection.

Are you intrigued? I hope so. I am so excited to share with you that, together, we will be exploring each of the five love languages in my coming blogs. I will offer you tips and suggestions for each category. To get ready, you have homework!

The Challenge: If you are not quite sure which love language you most prefer, take Dr. Chapman’s quiz to gain a better perspective. Invite your significant other, your children, or the other important people in your life to do it, as well, so you can show your love in the way that they most prefer.

For more information on understanding the five love languages and how they relate to loving yourself, contact us, today!